Oh, I forgave you. I just don’t want you near me anymore.
People confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.
They think because you let it go that you should let them back in.
Let me be clear about something. Forgiveness is for me access that has to be earned.
And just because I released the anger doesn’t mean I forgot what you showed me.
Forgiving you doesn’t delete the data.
It just means that I’m no longer angry or holding on about what the data actually revealed.
I can forgive you and still not trust you.
I can wish you well and still not want you in my space.
I can pray for you and still keep the door locked. Those things aren’t contradictions.
They’re wisdom. The people who get upset when you forgive but don’t restore access didn’t want your forgiveness.
They wanted their position back. They wanted to skip the part about accountability and go straight back to proximity.
But proximity without change is just a second opportunity to do the same thing.
I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m not holding a grudge.
I just rather protect my peace than perform a reunion that I don’t even feel.
forgiveness it doesn’t come with a key you can be forgiven and still not be welcome i’m not even
being cold that’s just clarityForgiveness isn’t a welcome back party. It’s just you deciding that what they did doesn’t get to live in your body anymore. The door can stay closed and your heart can still be free.
Justin Owens is an award-winning author, speaker, and entrepreneur known for founding New Age CEOS International and Run the Play Inc. He is an Instagram personality with over 600,000 followers, hosts a leadership podcast, and authored the book “Run The Play Playbook: Leadership 101.” He focuses on mentoring entrepreneurs and sales professionals.
Additional reading:
- Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
- Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
