Slapfish Review – Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Slapfish was on the menu for a Saturday afternoon for my wife and I.  Nestled in the mega shopping district of Waterford Lakes, the location is in a good spot in terms of parking and getting to the location.  The mistake made by ownership was to provide a fish eye view of The Brass Tap next door, to which I continually looked in that direction wishing I had chosen that spot instead.  Right off the bat, as I venture into the establishment at noon on a very busy Saturday in Waterford, My wife and I and just one other couple are the only patrons.  It feels like the place is going to close soon.  

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The ordering procedure is much like Tijuana Flats (which I hate terribly)… You walk up to a counter that is devoid of any crew members and wait for the college age kid to finally make his way to the register to take our order.  Another college type kid looks through from the kitchen with a look that screams, Oh my God, we actually have another customer.  The Sub- Millennial that took our order had an expressionless face and made no comments at all.  I thought for just a moment that I was in a scene from Gattica.  A robot from 70’s sitcom TV has more personality.  I almost apologized for bothering him.

My wife and I previously studied the menu so he quickly took our order and said “We’ll bring it to ya.”  Arg!, not off to a good start.  The next event bothers me to no end, the sub-human kid that took our order brought my wife’s food first and my food didn’t come for another 5 minutes or so.  For goodness sakes, not even Tijuana Flats would do that.  Two things that irritate me the most in a restaurant is 1) An entrée brought to the table minutes after getting the appetizer and 2) One diners food coming to the table before other guests, putting them in the position of not starting to eat as there food gets cold.  Once my food arrived, I don’t remember if the sub-human said anything, he just placed my plate on the table and walked away.  

The food was both outstanding and ok at the same time.  I had the chowder fires which I inhaled like a vacuum cleaner.  My Clobster grilled cheese was served on toasted Wonder bread and lacked any bulk for the price (more on that later).   Pictures of this particular sandwich from previous visits on google were more stuffed and oozing with cheese.  Mine, meh, not so much. My wife had the Lobster Roll and Lobster Taquitos.  The Taquitos lacked any sort of evidence of lobster, however the sauce on the two very light servings was very good.  Sadly, I discover, I am in need of a second beer.  I walk up to the counter and wait several minutes for somebody to appear, finally I walked through the counter and yelled HELLO back into the kitchen. The cook comes around the counter with the same blank face as the sub-human (sorry, sub-Millinial) and fusses with the register like he has never used it before.  

All this, for the establishment that I chose for my birthday and cost $72.00.  I’m actually a little mad and an a simple head nod from the crew members would have made it a little better but not much.  Sadly, my experience here is starting to be a trend in local dining. Meanwhile as I leave, The Brass Tap looks fun, the waitresses are chatty and smiling while orders are being taken.  I suppose a gentlemen wouldn’t have to leave his spouse behind at the table during lunch to simply get another beer (and wait for the privilege).  Needless to say say, I won’t be going back.  The Central Florida market is bursting at the seems with seafood places to dine in.  We passed our favorite, Bonefish Grill, while leaving the parking lot.  Guess where I’m going for dinner tonight.  I love Bang Bang Shrimp.

On a side note, I thought having ice cream after our disaster of a meal would have been a nice touch.  To my dismay, I discover that Waterford coned off a large section of two parking lots for a food truck event I think and there is nowhere to park near the Marble Slab Creamery.  A Food Truck event taking parking spaces from food establishments that pay rent, huh.  Oh well, we went to Bruster’s near our house it it certainly provided salve on the wound.

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