There is the great spiritual principle that undergirds the entire Gospel: detachment. The heart of the spiritual life is to love God and then to love everything else for the sake of God. But we sinners, as St. Augustine said, fall into the trap of loving the creature and forgetting the Creator. That’s when we get off the rails.
Luke 14:25-35 The Cost of Discipleship
25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them,
26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?
29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,
30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?
32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.
33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
We treat something less than God as God—and trouble ensues. And this is why Jesus tells his fair-weather fans that they have a very stark choice to make. Jesus must be loved first and last, and everything else in their lives has to find its meaning in relation to him.
In typical Semitic fashion, he makes this point through a stark exaggeration: “Unless you hate your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters . . .” Well yes, hate them in the measure that they have become gods to you. For precisely in that measure are they dangerous.
I have never done a deep study on that word “hate” (“μισεῖ” / “misei), since the lexicons’ meaning is pretty much limited to what “hate” means in English.
But I have also assumed that there is some kind of problem in the adequacy of that translation as “hate.” In our English word “hate” is a word that has a strong flavor of “destruction” attached to it: you naturally want to destroy or eradicate what you “hate.”
A cursory inspection of the Septuagint use of that Greek term (“misei”), shows that while it does normally have that “destruction” or “abhorrence” flavor, sometimes it does not:
Gen.29:31 (NASB & NET) “Now the LORD saw that Leah was UNLOVED, and He opened her womb” (literally “hated” / “μισεῖται” in the LXX). When you read the story of Jacob and Leah, our English word “hate” does seem to be too strong to describe Jacobs greater desire for Leah than Rachel, no?
Malachi 1:2 (NET translation) “‘Esau was Jacob’s brother,’ the LORD explains, ‘yet I chose Jacob and REJECTED Esau” (literally “hated” / “ἐμίσησα” in the LXX). When you read the story of God’s attitude about Esau, does the way WE usually us the word “hate” accurately describe God’s attitude? (Genesis 25:19ff).
In our language “hate” is the polar OPPOSITE of “love” – by definition, you cannot love what you hate – although you can “choose” or “succumb” to what you “hate.” But you CAN “love” a person that you “reject” (even though it can create some turmoil in doing so). It seems clear to me that both the ancient Hebrew and Greek words that we translate as “hate” had both a stronger and a weaker sense to them than our word “hate” does. So, I suspect that it would be better to have translated that Lukan passage as “reject” since I am quite sure that neither Jesus nor His apostles did hate his own mother and siblings in OUR English sense of that word.
Here is some commentary from a few prominent leaders…
Dr. Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
14:25–35 The opening reference to Jesus traveling recalls the journey to Jerusalem mentioned in Luke 13:22,32–33 and anticipates the reference to following Jesus and carrying one’s cross (14:26–27). The contrast in verse 26 (and the references to love in 6:27,35; 10:27–28) indicates that “hate” here is a vivid idiomatic way of expressing a greater and lesser degree of prioritization. If one wants to follow Jesus, all other loyalties do not compare to him. Jesus must have ultimate priority. The reference to carrying one’s cross and coming after Jesus in Luke 14:27 parallels the reference to hating one’s own life and coming to Jesus in verse 26. The following two illustrations (vv. 28–30; 31–33) support the previous statement. The first describes a building project that is not able to be finished, pointing to the foolishness of relying on one’s own resources. The second likewise emphasizes a lack of resources along with a discouragement to undertake the project, again pointing to the foolishness of relying on one’s own resources. A summary is given in verse 33: reliance on one’s own resources must be given up in order to entrust oneself to Jesus.
Evangelical Study Bible
14:25–33. Much of this text is unique to Luke, though there are parallels to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 10:37–38. In no uncertain terms, Jesus emphasizes the need for complete devotion. This does not set aside the need to love one’s enemies, to honor one’s father and mother, and the like. However, it does highlight that absolute loyalty to Christ is paramount, even if it costs one his or her life.
Expositor’s Bible Commentary
25-27 The serious tone of the preceding parable continues as attention now turns to those who profess allegiance to Jesus. Luke again points out Jesus’ popularity (see comment on 4:15) and his continuing journey toward Jerusalem (see comment on 13:22). “Hate” (v.26) is not an absolute but a relative term. To neglect social customs pertaining to family loyalties would probably have been interpreted as hate. Jesus is not contravening the commandment to honor one’s father and mother. It is important to understand the ancient Near Eastern expression without blunting its force. (For the meaning of v.27, see comment on 9:23.)
ESV Study Bible
Luke 14:25 Great crowds continue to follow Jesus (see 4:37).
Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to me. Cf. 9:23–24. Those who would be Christ’s disciples must (1) love their family less than they love Christ (14:26); (2) bear the cross and follow Christ (v. 27); and (3) relinquish everything (v. 33). These are complementary ways of describing complete commitment. The first condition for discipleship is to hate one’s father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, and life (cf. 18:29; see 6:20–22). “Hating” is a Semitic expression for loving less (cf. Gen. 29:30–31; Deut. 21:15–17; Matt. 10:37).
Luke 14:27 For the second condition for discipleship, bear his own cross and come after me, see notes on Matt. 10:38 and Mark 8:34.
Luke 14:28–32 Two parabolic illustrations involving building (vv. 28–30) and going to war (vv. 31–32) both warn against making a hasty decision to follow Jesus. Potential disciples must first count the cost to see if they will persevere in the faith (cf. 8:15; 21:19).
Luke 14:33 The third condition for discipleship (see note on v. 26) involves renouncing all (cf. 5:11, 28; 12:33; 18:22).
