It doesn’t yet have the force of law. But a newspaper writer has penned a proposed bill of rights for diners, establishing standards for everything from the right to receive fresh silverware with each new course to a right to conversational privacy.

Written in a style that is reminiscent of the Bible’s ten commandments yet intermixed with modern-day legal language, the 25-item bill of rights by Los Angeles Times writer Leslie Brenner is a rallying cry to culinary justice.

Even in seemingly relatively minor matters, don’t give up the fight for appropriate restaurant service, the newspaper article urges diners. “You have a right to be offered tap water without feeling stigmatized. The tap water shall be filtered. Unless there are overriding drought conditions, the water shall be replenished throughout the meal.”